With the New Year’s approaching I have decided that it was a good time to start taking better care of myself and improve my behavior. When you thought I was off bothering the cat, I was really contemplating how best to improve myself. Ok maybe I was bothering the cat, but I just wanted her input, to see if she had any ideas. Which of course she didn’t, but I think she went ahead and made her own list. So I decided to compile a list of my own top 5 New Year’s resolutions and how you can best help me stay on track.
Resolution #1 – I will not eat poop.
I promise not to eat my or my friend’s poop. I have to be honest with you, it will be hard to break a habit that was programmed in me from my early ancestors. But I know you think it is gross and it makes you reluctant to accept my adorable doggy kisses. You have always told me to share with my friends, but I guess sharing their intestinal parasites maybe was a little too much sharing. I thought they were just being generous friends. I will do my best to listen to you when you tell me to “leave it”, if you promise to keep the yard cleaned up where I play. What can I say, old habits die hard!!
Resolution #2 – I will not pull when we go out for walks.
I promise to not pull on the leash when we go for walks. I know it hurts your neck, arm and back. I remember that one time I got so excited because I saw the squirrel, I pulled you off your feet and you skinned your knee. The squirrel was teasing me and I just wanted him to go back to his tree. I was very sad and felt badly for a long time. I was really sorry because we could not go out for long walks while your knee healed.
Resolution #3 – I will not chew on other people’s things
I promise to not chew on other people’s things. I know I am only allowed to chew on my own toys. Sometimes I get bored or mad when you are busy. Maybe you could help me by keeping my favorite items to chew on out of my reach like your shoes or the trash. Maybe when you go out put me in my crate so I can’t get in trouble. I do love my crate, it is my own safe bedroom.
Resolution #4 – I will behave during my visits to the veterinary hospital.
I promise to quietly sit in the waiting room and not bark at every person, animal or thing that I see. When called into the room, I will willingly get on the scale and when the doctor comes in I will let him or her examine me, including my ears, eyes, and paws. You know how much I hate those parts touched. So, if you could bring along my favorite treats or tell me how well I am doing it would help make the visit less stressful.
Resolution #5 – I will help take care of my joints.
I promise to help care for my joints. I will not jump from high places or run after that annoying squirrel that taunts me on our walks. I will try to remember that the squirrel can run quicker and turn sharply compared to me. I will happily go for our leash walks to help keep my joints healthy and help me keep my body lean and in shape.
I will do my best to keep my New Year’s resolutions with your help.
So I will promise to stop:
- eating feces
- pulling on the leash when we go for walks
- chewing on things that are not my toys
- behave at the veterinary hospital
- help care for my joints by walking nicely with you.
I need you to help me: by keeping the yard clean, walking me on a proper leash, keeping items I like to chew on out of my reach, taking me to regular veterinary visits, and maintaining my weight and joints with walks. If we work together we can have a healthy and happy new year!